Who Am I?

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Who am I? Am I in control of myself? Or I am just a shadow of myself or a fragment of who I should be. Am I the salt or the water; Am I me or you; one of many or one of few? Am I a thought, a perception, dream or a nightmare? Or am I a closed book deserted in the clustered bag or on a shelf in the library. Continue reading

Denial or Acceptance?

He sat in shock by the pain of betrayal and speratation as his eyes filled with tears. Looking around the empty room, he thought its best to sit here and watch his word burn. Razors to wrist, the fan and the rope or the traffice on the roads, all had crossed his mind.

He was on the verge of meltdown but before he could there were questions in his mind he wanted answers to.  He wanted to know if it was that easy for her to walk away. He wanted to stare into her eyes and know if it is hurting her ,taking her breath away like his. But that moment was long gone. “Please tell me that i cannot love you anymore”, the last he could say before she left. Broken, hurt, adandoned, just watching his life wash away. The pain was excruciating, felt like it was crushing his soul.

But she was gone forever, leaving nothing but the memories. Memories that he will drag, memories that will haunt him forever.

 

आँखों में नमी थी , दिल में कमी
हम मुस्कुराते रहे फिर भी
क्युकी उनके चेहरे पर हंसी थी

 

In Pursuit of Happiness

I love gadgets and books and wrist watches and many more things. When I buy a gadget I want to use or a book I want to read, it feels great. But, when I think about it, I am not happier after I buy these things. There is a certain ‘basic happiness level’ which I am currently at, and I feel that this level does not increase after purchasing a desired object. And yet, I still want these objects. I’d rather have them than not have them, even though they don’t increase my level of happiness.

I noticed something similar when I compared my childhood with a kid of 14 years living next to my house. He too is equally happy and smiling like I used to be almost a decade ago, despite the fact that I didn’t had anything like cell phones, Facebook, Twitter etc. The basic level of happiness of the average teenager has not increased in the past couple of decades years, even though we have all these new technologies and gadgets that make our life easier and more comfortable. And yet, every person would rather have these new devices than not have them.

I started wondering about this, since it has been my assumption that we strive to maximize our happiness, and so if an action has no long term effects on our happiness, why take that action? If I’d rather own these devices than not own them, it means that there is some metric other than happiness that is improved by owning them. I think that metric is ‘CONTENTMENT’. I am simply more content owning these devices than not owning them.

And this concept applies not only to gadgets, but also to other aspects of life. Someone may work hard to get a promotion, build a big house, become rich, get a Nobel Prize, etc, even though after all these things are accomplished their ‘basic happiness level’ will likely not change.

What determines our happiness level is not very well understood, but after our basic survival needs are met, happiness is a function of things like brain chemistry predisposition, whether whoever you love loves you back, how well you get along with your significant other, how many close friends you have, etc.

Those things are unlikely to change just because you bought a new smartphone or a new Porsche or even because you won the Man Booker Prize. And yet, people strive for these things, not because they will be happier with the result, but because they will be more content with the result. They will be more content with themselves if they know that they have achieved what they wanted: bought a beautiful house, made partner in a firm, became CEO, won an Oscar.

People initially think that they are trying to maximize their happiness, but after a while, after achieving some early goals and not feeling happier, they realize that it’s foolish to expect to become happier when the next goal is achieved. And yet, they persist on working towards that next goal. At that point, they are simply trying to maximize their contentment. It’s just that ‘the pursuit of contentment’ is not as catchy as ‘the pursuit of happiness’.

Aman Sharma

P.S.: I am no Great writer or Literature expert or English guru. This post is just a expression of my feelings and you might find some mistakes in it as it is straight from the heart and not proof read. Please ignore the mistakes. 🙂 Thank you.

Accept Change & You Won’t Regret it.

‘Opportunities knocks at all doors but only few of us have the courage to open it, welcome it and then revolutionize our lives.” The question that arises first in mind is why we regret change? It’s because we are so busy in comfort zone. It is because how change might change course of our life for which we aren’t prepared. Is it because we are lazy or are we just boring? Actually it is a bit of everything.

Surprisingly most existing thing in our life is change. It is that constant force that let us live; not just exist. But it is the fear factor that torpedoes every time. Fear of failure, fear of unknown, fear of what others will say, fear of whether it will be worst than present or fear of shaking our lives. Unless we get rid of fear, we can’t be a catalyst to change.


We stick to our daily job due to fear. We do not fall in love although we love someone due to fear of unknown and failure. We are afraid that what will happen with us if we say our feelings. We do not do anything because the risk is too much.  But it’s the risk that changes the way we look life. When we take risk, there is new energy, new light in our eyes, new surge of confidence, new smile on our face and a new song in our heart. All of these work as neutralizer for fear factor.


Failure is the first step to success, a discovery. And when we take this step, we have to tell ourselves that world won’t end if we fail and new windows will open with new opportunities. There is no one on earth who hasn’t failed. Students in exams, scientists in experiments e.t.c. All achievers have failed before succeeding. Thomas Edison was told that he failed 100 times before inventing a bulb. He calmly replied that he didn’t failed. Actually it took him 100 steps to make a light bulb.


If we have same kind of attitude we will never fail. Those who want to experience change must be prepared to live with some amount of loneliness. If you fail there won’t be anyone around you but if you succeed others will surround you…

Blinded by Success?

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Can writers/authors be blinded by their own success? You bet…While success is what all writers/authors strive for, unless you’re prepared to handle it, success can quickly complicate your life. As strange as it may sound, success can often times be the precursor to failure. So my question is this: Is your success serving as a springboard toward significance, or is it merely a temporary state, precariously positioned and ready to implode with the slightest change in circumstance? Success without perspective, purpose, and focus can actually cause more harm than good. In today’s post all I am trying to discuss is how writers/authors can either leverage success into significance, or if they’re not careful, have it serve as a catalyst for a rapid downward spiral…

While not often discussed, nothing dulls the senses like a taste of success. A chance encounter with success can often lead to a feeling of being indestructible, which in turn can lead to arrogance, and the belief that success itself will breed success in any situation. Once a leader starts to believe their own rhetoric, trouble is not far behind. The reality is that past success, in and of itself, does not necessarily serve as an indicator of future success.

Life is full of seemingly successful people who regularly fall from the ivory tower for no apparent reason. We’ve all witnessed the lottery winner who hit the big one only to have their new found wealth derail their life, as opposed to solve all their problems. We’ve seen the same thing happen to young politicians who dream of changing the world only to find themselves corrupted by their own ego once they arrive at the Parliament.  How about the professional athletes who sign multi-million dollar contracts out of school? They all too frequently end-up running with the wrong crowd only to find themselves out of the league only a few years later with nothing left to show for their success. And finally, how about the executive or entrepreneur who rises to the top, gets the title and the paycheck to go along with it, only to later run their company into the ground and eventually lose their position and all the perks that went with it.

Are success and significance the same thing? Sometimes yes, and sometimes no. Sure, for those “who get it” success and significance are one in the same, but for most professionals success begins and ends with the achievement of a certain list of personal goals with little regard to the impact on others. These people confuse success with significance, and regardless of their wealth and professional accomplishments, they won’t accomplish the true greatness which only comes through making significant contributions to something other than one’s self. I don’t care how your resume reads or what your net worth is…what I care about is your motivation, and what you do with what you have.

Flashback

When I recall my past, I realize that I have a history of making prompt decisions when it comes to girls, either being friend with her or fall for her. I have always fallen in love with them without measuring potential risks and outcomes.

It’s just because it’s been my tendency to assume that everyone I meet is emotionally and mentally capable of giving their best rather than seeing and assessing what’s best in them. I have fallen in love more than I can count not for the girl herself but on my assumption of her giving her best in the relationship. At the same time, I have hung on to certain relations for a long time, sometimes far too long, waiting for her to ascend to her own greatness. Many a times I have been a victim of my own optimism when it comes to relations with girls.

But finally I realized that no matter what you do, how you look like, most of the girls you will meet wont be worth it. Its not that they are bad, but its just that they have their own priorities, their own decisions, their own favorites due to which they wither ignore you or keep you as a back up option which is quite obvious. They might talk to you as if they know you for years, discuss their life, your life and even call you one of their best friends. But after a time, things changes and the long hour talks are reduced to minutes and then silence. That is when one should realize if hanging onto the relation is fruitful or not. I, in the past, have taken wrong decision, most of time at this moment, hanging onto them and finally getting hurt.

Though I repeated such instances on a constant basis but finally I can say that I have learned from my past. Though it was hard to change from a desperate guy, looking for attention from female community, trying to make an impression on them (a good one which usually ended up as a bad one). My decisions have become more mature, clear, and thoughtful than they used to be couple of years ago. I am still in the learning phase as everyone is different and who knows one odd day you might face a new and different scenario altogether.”