Who am I? Am I in control of myself? Or I am just a shadow of myself or a fragment of who I should be. Am I the salt or the water; Am I me or you; one of many or one of few? Am I a thought, a perception, dream or a nightmare? Or am I a closed book deserted in the clustered bag or on a shelf in the library. Continue reading →
Who was that girl in the metro; preoccupied with her thoughts, gazing out of the window as sun settles down. Dark hairs, good looks but sad expressions… the way she sat, the far gaze, what’s wrong with here, i thought.
I wanted to ask the reason of the empty look in her crystal eyes as if life was being sucked out of her. Reason she was holding her hands under her thighs that they were almost pale. Her shoulders were down with the whatever she was going through. One could see that she was afraid if people would notice that she was not comfortable.
But as i was looking at her, she turned and our eyes met. My first thought was to look away but i didn’t nor did she. As if she wanted someone to ask her what’s wrong. But before i could say anything, a women in her late 40s sitting next to her asked, “are you all right?”. “I am, yes, I am”, she said. Panic in her voice was visible. As the station arrived, she picked her stuff in a desperate attempt to flee. As she left the metro car, i continued looking at her face; face that was carrying scars of hard life shed been through.
She finally sat on the bench, away from the dwelling eyes of curious people. And as the door closed and metro moved, i could see the tears flowing from her eyes. The pain in its raw form; i felt for her.
He sat in shock by the pain of betrayal and speratation as his eyes filled with tears. Looking around the empty room, he thought its best to sit here and watch his word burn. Razors to wrist, the fan and the rope or the traffice on the roads, all had crossed his mind.
He was on the verge of meltdown but before he could there were questions in his mind he wanted answers to. He wanted to know if it was that easy for her to walk away. He wanted to stare into her eyes and know if it is hurting her ,taking her breath away like his. But that moment was long gone. “Please tell me that i cannot love you anymore”, the last he could say before she left. Broken, hurt, adandoned, just watching his life wash away. The pain was excruciating, felt like it was crushing his soul.
But she was gone forever, leaving nothing but the memories. Memories that he will drag, memories that will haunt him forever.
आँखों में नमी थी , दिल में कमी
हम मुस्कुराते रहे फिर भी
क्युकी उनके चेहरे पर हंसी थी
You must say what I want to listen”. Any talk with this attitude cannot be termed as conversation.
“No!” This is in itself a complete sentence. The same way “Yes” is; complete and making sense without any other word to suffice its meaning. One just has to ‘Yes’ and the conversation is complete. There is no need to ask for more information when you seek approval for something or from someone. There are no ifs & buts. This is because, by listening ‘Yes’ as the answer, there is an ego satisfaction that one gets. “Yes, he has listened to me or agreed to me” kind of attitude. Continue reading →