I wanted to Believe

 I couldn’t text you back yet today
Because I don’t know how to 
Act like I am just your friend. 
Like I have not been more 
Intimate with you in some ways 
Than I have been with anyone.
Laid my heart completely open 
For you all over 
Your bedroom. 
I want to be able to have a 
Normal, nice healthy conversation 
But I want to ask you 
Why I do not intrigue you
The way I used to. 
I want to ask why
We couldn’t be happy together. 
I want to call your phone and
Leave a sad poem I did not 
Write onto your voicemail so
You will feel 
What I feel. 
Or perhaps 
Soon you will feel 
Nothing for me any longer 
And that will feel 
Like relief. 
You do not look to me
To soothe your ache. 
I want to believe it isn’t me 
That friends and lovers do not 
Run away screaming because 
They finally see my darkness
And so I appear to them less sane.
I thought our demons could 
Play together
And that I could have 
Your children. 
You are an illusion 
I believed into being. 

NO – Sentence in itself

You must say what I want to listen”. Any talk with this attitude cannot be termed as conversation.

“No!” This is in itself a complete sentence. The same way “Yes” is; complete and making sense without any other word to suffice its meaning. One just has to ‘Yes’ and the conversation is complete. There is no need to ask for more information when you seek approval for something or from someone. There are no ifs & buts. This is because, by listening ‘Yes’ as the answer, there is an ego satisfaction that one gets. “Yes, he has listened to me or agreed to me” kind of attitude. Continue reading

And in the end, it’s not so bad…

And really, in the end,
it’s not so bad.

Maybe Iam dying quicker than the most,
or maybe I am dying right on time.
and people’s hearts are heavy
just like mine.

They’ll keep us anchored to the world
when life threatens to wash us away.

We are all ships lost at the sea,
and the northern star doesnt always
reign where we can see.

I might be sinking but atleast this life
will have filled my bones right.

I can now leave knowing
the universe left its mark on me.

In the end,
it’s not so bad.

At all..

The Lone Traveller

Image

I believed, but you didn’t understood,
And so dull I was, still to be good.

And then there was no end to streaming tears,
That first one came down, blurring everything that appears.

With memories empty, with experience null,
With vapid eye balls meaningless and dull.

As you took more than what you left,
Now I am a tired traveller of my sun bereft.

All I can feel are the changes in my life,
Sometimes peace, and sometimes strife.

Lost to myself & the world; here I am all alone,
Carving her name on this marble stone.

Vain was the struggle in my mental net,
Seem’d my spirit daring me to forget!!!

© – Aman Sharma

That feeling…

Have you ever felt that urge,
checking your phone every passing hour.
That rise in heartbeat when it rings,
with a new hope that its him…

That cold pain I your chest,
as if there’s something crushing.
Trying to turn around and have some rest,
And all you could do is huffing…

Have you ever felt that urge,
to just run away from everything.
Somewhere deep down far,
where no one knows who you are…

The lone winter nights with glorious dreams,
inside the blanket with the eyes that weep.
In my ears the infinite silence screams,
slowly shall we smoothly pass away in sleep…

Copyrights – Aman Sharma