Denial or Acceptance?

He sat in shock by the pain of betrayal and speratation as his eyes filled with tears. Looking around the empty room, he thought its best to sit here and watch his word burn. Razors to wrist, the fan and the rope or the traffice on the roads, all had crossed his mind.

He was on the verge of meltdown but before he could there were questions in his mind he wanted answers to.  He wanted to know if it was that easy for her to walk away. He wanted to stare into her eyes and know if it is hurting her ,taking her breath away like his. But that moment was long gone. “Please tell me that i cannot love you anymore”, the last he could say before she left. Broken, hurt, adandoned, just watching his life wash away. The pain was excruciating, felt like it was crushing his soul.

But she was gone forever, leaving nothing but the memories. Memories that he will drag, memories that will haunt him forever.

 

आँखों में नमी थी , दिल में कमी
हम मुस्कुराते रहे फिर भी
क्युकी उनके चेहरे पर हंसी थी

 

“I still love you…”

Sometimes loving you from all my heart is not enough,

Sometimes being loyal with you be of any worth,

How hard I cry, it won’t really matter,

She would never notice my heart that’s completely shattered…

I am in a shrill pain of the unseen wounds,

Trying to figure out whether any medicine would ever be a boon?

After all the possible ways to make you stay,

Whether it was to change myself or mend my way…

You said that I no longer have a space in your life,

And it’s better for me to search for some other reasons to be alive…

Ok! Dear I will move away from you…

So much far that my existence in your life will have no clue!

You will soon be able to wash my memories away,

And replace me with much more better things of this world’s bay!

But one thing that would always be in your possession,

A memoir that could have no other substitution…

That would be my HEART that you had once taken away,

And promised to treasure it till the doom’s day!

Do have a look someday on that meaningless thing,

You will always find your presence in each of its limbs…

You will find something written if you carefully view,

It says, “Dear, I still love you…”

The Lone Traveller

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I believed, but you didn’t understood,
And so dull I was, still to be good.

And then there was no end to streaming tears,
That first one came down, blurring everything that appears.

With memories empty, with experience null,
With vapid eye balls meaningless and dull.

As you took more than what you left,
Now I am a tired traveller of my sun bereft.

All I can feel are the changes in my life,
Sometimes peace, and sometimes strife.

Lost to myself & the world; here I am all alone,
Carving her name on this marble stone.

Vain was the struggle in my mental net,
Seem’d my spirit daring me to forget!!!

© – Aman Sharma

That feeling…

Have you ever felt that urge,
checking your phone every passing hour.
That rise in heartbeat when it rings,
with a new hope that its him…

That cold pain I your chest,
as if there’s something crushing.
Trying to turn around and have some rest,
And all you could do is huffing…

Have you ever felt that urge,
to just run away from everything.
Somewhere deep down far,
where no one knows who you are…

The lone winter nights with glorious dreams,
inside the blanket with the eyes that weep.
In my ears the infinite silence screams,
slowly shall we smoothly pass away in sleep…

Copyrights – Aman Sharma

I am Trying…

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Its been a while I am trying,
to figure out what’s wrong;
All these years I’ve been crying,
trying to figure out where I belong…

Here I am standing amidst the storm,
storm of pain, guilt and misery;
With a Lil hope that my dreams might transform,
waiting for someone to solve this mystery.

Its been a while I am lying,
pretending & smiling for the world;
But on the inside I am dying,
While round the ratling thunder hurled…

And here I am still trying,
to figure out my purpose of life;
And then I stop to listen to this sighing,
trying to understand the bitter and ceaseless strife…

Copyrights – Aman Sharma