He was running and running as if I was in a race; as if flesh eating hounds were unleashed and chasing him. Though he was putting all the efforts, he was weighed down with something. Something that was not visible yet cannot deny the fact that it was pulling him down. There were signs of frustration, determination and exhaustion which showed that he had been on this race for a long time. Continue reading
Who was that girl in the metro; preoccupied with her thoughts, gazing out of the window as sun settles down. Dark hairs, good looks but sad expressions… the way she sat, the far gaze, what’s wrong with here, i thought.
I wanted to ask the reason of the empty look in her crystal eyes as if life was being sucked out of her. Reason she was holding her hands under her thighs that they were almost pale. Her shoulders were down with the whatever she was going through. One could see that she was afraid if people would notice that she was not comfortable.
But as i was looking at her, she turned and our eyes met. My first thought was to look away but i didn’t nor did she. As if she wanted someone to ask her what’s wrong. But before i could say anything, a women in her late 40s sitting next to her asked, “are you all right?”. “I am, yes, I am”, she said. Panic in her voice was visible. As the station arrived, she picked her stuff in a desperate attempt to flee. As she left the metro car, i continued looking at her face; face that was carrying scars of hard life shed been through.
She finally sat on the bench, away from the dwelling eyes of curious people. And as the door closed and metro moved, i could see the tears flowing from her eyes. The pain in its raw form; i felt for her.
He sat in shock by the pain of betrayal and speratation as his eyes filled with tears. Looking around the empty room, he thought its best to sit here and watch his word burn. Razors to wrist, the fan and the rope or the traffice on the roads, all had crossed his mind.
He was on the verge of meltdown but before he could there were questions in his mind he wanted answers to. He wanted to know if it was that easy for her to walk away. He wanted to stare into her eyes and know if it is hurting her ,taking her breath away like his. But that moment was long gone. “Please tell me that i cannot love you anymore”, the last he could say before she left. Broken, hurt, adandoned, just watching his life wash away. The pain was excruciating, felt like it was crushing his soul.
But she was gone forever, leaving nothing but the memories. Memories that he will drag, memories that will haunt him forever.
आँखों में नमी थी , दिल में कमी
हम मुस्कुराते रहे फिर भी
क्युकी उनके चेहरे पर हंसी थी
Lately, there has been a lot on my mind. Things that are distracting, disturbing and making me think back on my life decisions. But I realized, sometimes life makes you go through so much, brings you full circle to a place you’ve been to before just to show how much you have grown. Amidst the storm in your heart and war with you mind, you remember the last time you were here. “Its’ all for the best”, “You’ll get over with it”,”Time heals everything” and more that was said to you. These are all well-meant, caring words people tend to say when someone they know or love is hurt. Sometimes you don’t know what to say back to them but this time you know that these phrases make things worse. Telling someone who has lost their loved ones that times heals will not help them in the raw pain they are in that very moment.
But have you ever stopped and thought about why you feel hurt when you’re in a relationship? Continue reading
I believed, but you didn’t understood,
And so dull I was, still to be good.
And then there was no end to streaming tears,
That first one came down, blurring everything that appears.
With memories empty, with experience null,
With vapid eye balls meaningless and dull.
As you took more than what you left,
Now I am a tired traveller of my sun bereft.
All I can feel are the changes in my life,
Sometimes peace, and sometimes strife.
Lost to myself & the world; here I am all alone,
Carving her name on this marble stone.
Vain was the struggle in my mental net,
Seem’d my spirit daring me to forget!!!
© – Aman Sharma
Have you ever felt that urge,
checking your phone every passing hour.
That rise in heartbeat when it rings,
with a new hope that its him…
That cold pain I your chest,
as if there’s something crushing.
Trying to turn around and have some rest,
And all you could do is huffing…
Have you ever felt that urge,
to just run away from everything.
Somewhere deep down far,
where no one knows who you are…
The lone winter nights with glorious dreams,
inside the blanket with the eyes that weep.
In my ears the infinite silence screams,
slowly shall we smoothly pass away in sleep…
Copyrights – Aman Sharma
I was trying to tell you I was not okay.
The pause I took to make sure that I don’t spill the truth.
The way my eyes roamed around like lost marbles.
The way goosebumps lingered around my skin like hives.
And I couldn’t keep my feet planted to the ground.
Keeping my hands in a fist inside my sweater pocket.
To try and sustain myself and hide my sweaty palms.
You only listened to the fake words that slipped out of my lips.
I guess no one ever told you that sometimes words don’t mean a thing.
The only thing that I did wrong was to do everything that you ever asked for. I just wished that you could have done the same for me.”
It happens to people, at times, when they grow up & meet new people; you start to understand things the way they are. And eventually you realize that people you’ve known forever don’t see the things the way you do, nor they try to see it or understand it. All you are left with is the option of keeping the beautiful memories and move on in life.