Who Am I?

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Who am I? Am I in control of myself? Or I am just a shadow of myself or a fragment of who I should be. Am I the salt or the water; Am I me or you; one of many or one of few? Am I a thought, a perception, dream or a nightmare? Or am I a closed book deserted in the clustered bag or on a shelf in the library. Continue reading

Shades of Love

I stared out through the glass; head tilted against the train window. I was searching for a thought to grasp onto, one out of many running through my mind. It was silly of me to be surprised at the one I chose.

The pain instantly found its way into my chest, causing me to wince. At times, I had to ask myself if I enjoyed it. It was something I’d put myself through more frequently. Patiently, eyes closed, I whispered. Hold on, it will pass, just wait it out. Continue reading

Loneliness

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Lately, there has been a lot on my mind. Things that are distracting, disturbing and making me think back on my life decisions. But I realized, sometimes life makes you go through so much, brings you full circle to a place you’ve been to before just to show how much you have grown. Amidst the storm in your heart and war with you mind, you remember the last time you were here. “Its’ all for the best”, “You’ll get over with it”,”Time heals everything” and more that was said to you. These are all well-meant, caring words people tend to say when someone they know or love is hurt. Sometimes you don’t know what to say back to them but this time you know that these phrases make things worse. Telling someone who has lost their loved ones that times heals will not help them in the raw pain they are in that very moment.

But have you ever stopped and thought about why you feel hurt when you’re in a relationship? Continue reading

I wanted to Believe

 I couldn’t text you back yet today
Because I don’t know how to 
Act like I am just your friend. 
Like I have not been more 
Intimate with you in some ways 
Than I have been with anyone.
Laid my heart completely open 
For you all over 
Your bedroom. 
I want to be able to have a 
Normal, nice healthy conversation 
But I want to ask you 
Why I do not intrigue you
The way I used to. 
I want to ask why
We couldn’t be happy together. 
I want to call your phone and
Leave a sad poem I did not 
Write onto your voicemail so
You will feel 
What I feel. 
Or perhaps 
Soon you will feel 
Nothing for me any longer 
And that will feel 
Like relief. 
You do not look to me
To soothe your ache. 
I want to believe it isn’t me 
That friends and lovers do not 
Run away screaming because 
They finally see my darkness
And so I appear to them less sane.
I thought our demons could 
Play together
And that I could have 
Your children. 
You are an illusion 
I believed into being. 

Seventh Jaipur Literature Festival, 2014

1 City, 5 Days, 6 Venues, 175 Sessions, Over 240 Authors, 700 Books and 2.2 Lakhs of Literature Lovers.

Yes, I am talking about the Jaipur Literature Festival. People have called it “The Biggest Literary Show on Earth” or “A literary melting pot in India’s Pink City” but for me, this festival is no less than heaven, thinker’s paradise, a literature lover’s delight, a pilgrimage for voracious readers & listeners and so on.

It was a place where people from every corner of the world came together to witness 5 days of non-stop debate and discussion on topics varying from history to music and fiction to biographies. The sessions were more interesting this time with the addition of few special theme based sessions like crime and punishment, democracy, women, endangered languages and not to forget the launch of the Crime Writer’s Association of South Asia.
The statement of the festival director and renowned author, William Dalrymple, “A testament that books still matter” was enough to convince me how big this year’s JLF went. This year, the Lit Fest witnessed the presence of over 2.2 lakh visitors and a record single day unique visitor count of 75,210 on Sunday. Though the Weather Gods were not on the Festival’s side and it was a bit damp this year. The festival started with chilly winds blowing across the venue, forcing people to wrap themselves up like little babies and when the festival ended, God made sure everyone surviving was carrying an umbrella. The last day rain changed the venues of the sessions from large lawns to small rooms of Diggi Palace – which reminded us of the early years of the Lit Fest, yet it failed to stop the flow of visitors to the festival as there was an 25% increase in footfall this year; all thanks to the festival coordinators and organizers for increased capacity & arrangements.

Though big guns like Javed Akhtar, Shashi Tharoor, Barkha Dutt, Mary Kom, Katherine Boo and Bina Ramani didn’t make it to the Fest; there were personalities who gathered a hell lot of audience and applaud. The literary program included two Nobel Prize winners, Amartya Sen and Harold Varmus as well as Man Booker, Pulitzer, Crossword, Samuel Johnson, Commonwealth, Hawthornden, Orange, Neustadt, Sahitya Akademi, Padmashree, Costa and DSC Prize long listed, shortlisted and winning authors.

One of the most amazing addition to this year’s list of speakers was Jhumpa Lahiri & ‘The Great American Novelist’ Jonathan Franzen (as titled by the TIME magazine). The critically acclaimed novelist and essayist who has received numerous accolades, including the National Book Award and was also a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction. Jonathan managed to surprise many by being much less of a curmudgeon than most expected him to be while Feminist Gloria Steinem and Amish Tripathi also notched up huge audiences.

Expecting a controversy free Festival was something organizers were praying for but that was way too much to ask for. The comment of Ved Mehta on Narendra Modi as ‘Danger to India’ on the day 1 of the festival heated up the cold and chilly winter mornings. Considering the last time it turned into a political hotbed, this year’s festival was more nuanced as there were no controversies that came up later, except when a few members of the Rajput Karni Sena made some noise about an Ekta Kapoor’s serial on Day 4.

So, once again, the big & free literary festival gave a tremendous show to the public, where they get to see their literary heroes up close at no extra cost as we conclude the Seventh Annual Jaipur Literature Festival 2014.

-Aman Sharma

Those 120 Hours, 280 Authors, 174 Sessions and Audience…

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It’s been a wonderful 120 hours or 5 days of Literature and controversies. One of the biggest gathering of words; words that were no less than pearls here. Its seemed like someone bestowed Jaipur with Rosary of Pearls. A perfect combination of best management, interest, discipline, moderation and virtue. There were many small elements comprising this one grand stage, attracting everyone to gather here in Jaipur. The visitors from places other than Jaipur were way more as compared to the local audience. For past one week, Jaipur was transformed into the Heart of Literature for thousands of people across the globe.

There were lot of talks going on, on the outside and they kept speaking. The ones who went in found something, the outsiders can never think of. In 174 sessions, some created conspiracies, but rest were way far from it. They were Big. it was Big because the 280 authors present in the Fest had a wonderful magnet called “WORDS”. It was powerful and beautiful because it gave and taught children, teenagers, youngsters and everyone else present there something that can never be taught at home or at school and cannot be interpreted by the scholars themselves.On the grand stage of Literature, there was a parallel discussion-dialogue of Books, Languages, Stories, Poems, Songs & Gazals going on. 70% of the sitting capacity was covered by the young generation. In the changing scenario, it was a pleasant surprise to see so much youth accumulated at one place. The questions put up to them were something so difficult that authors have to use their deep sense of knowledge to answer them.

The rules laid down for the normal Visitors-Audience, Delegates, Media, Authors or Organizers were same throughout the Fest, from parking to the entry in the Diggi Palace. There were no shortcuts, which was something eye pleasing and a rare thing to have at present. No VIPs or shortcuts. Everyone had to go through the same line of checking by metal detectors ID card scanning at each entry and exit point; whether they were coming for the first time or tenth time or the hundredth. Same was the rule for sitting. No VIP reservations were there and quite often it was seen that personalities like Kabir Bedi, Javed Akhtar, S.Shreesanth, Shabana Azmi, Sharmila Tagore etc sitting somewhere in the middle of the crowd.

The experience of Jaipur Literature Festival 2013 was so mesmerizing, beautiful and never before. One cannot experience the breath taking sessions, adrenaline rush and excitement on meeting authors and famous names of literature world without any problem or security barricades. It’s been a day the festival has come to an end and people have already started to make plans for the next one. This is, my friends, JAIPUR LITERATURE FESTIVAL for you.

– Aman Sharma