Lately, there has been a lot on my mind. Things that are distracting, disturbing and making me think back on my life decisions. But I realized, sometimes life makes you go through so much, brings you full circle to a place you’ve been to before just to show how much you have grown. Amidst the storm in your heart and war with you mind, you remember the last time you were here. “Its’ all for the best”, “You’ll get over with it”,”Time heals everything” and more that was said to you. These are all well-meant, caring words people tend to say when someone they know or love is hurt. Sometimes you don’t know what to say back to them but this time you know that these phrases make things worse. Telling someone who has lost their loved ones that times heals will not help them in the raw pain they are in that very moment.
But have you ever stopped and thought about why you feel hurt when you’re in a relationship? Continue reading →
How ironical it is that we get up and motivate our self when we don’t meet our expectations, but go crazy, depressed and angry when others don’t meet our expectations.
And at times, when they do meet our expectations, we don’t feel much happier and the usual term used is, “I expected it that way!”. How simple and beautiful like would be if we could just stop expecting things and save ourselves from the suffering and unhappiness.
Why do we expect? This is one important question, one should be able to answer to avoid expecting and getting hurt over and over again. The answer is quite simple, we expect because we believe that people will do what they say they will do – We expect people to keep their word.
Now, instead of writing about why we expect and other shit things about expectations, I will directly come to the point on how we can control our expectations and live much more happily.
Know what you want.
Accept yourself as you are.
Be specific with your objectives, what you want from people and your life. In short, set your priorities straight.
Directly ask the person you are expecting from about what you want and make sure that you get the answer in either ‘YES’ or ‘NO’.
Develop the art of reading feelings, both self and of others. It helps us to decide or find what we actually need and will we get that or not.
I don’t know if these things will help you or not; no one can but all we can do is give it a try. At-least is is better than sitting and wasting any more of your time waiting, hoping, and expecting. I am trying this and it is helping me. So there is a chance that it might help you too. J
The only thing that I did wrong was to do everything that you ever asked for. I just wished that you could have done the same for me.”
It happens to people, at times, when they grow up & meet new people; you start to understand things the way they are. And eventually you realize that people you’ve known forever don’t see the things the way you do, nor they try to see it or understand it. All you are left with is the option of keeping the beautiful memories and move on in life.
It’s then you understand the true meaning of Life. The lessons taught to us from time to time. There are things in life that we don’t want to happen but in the end those things happen and we have to accept them. There are things we do not want to know about but we end up learning them and one of the most important lesson that is taught to us is there are people in our lives we can’t live without but eventually we have to let go of them.
Sometimes you just have to remind yourself that it will all be okay, maybe not now, maybe not tomorrow, but one day. You will have to remind yourself of the fact that the things and people around you have changed and you are left with no option other than letting go and move on. Yes, its going to be a hard decision and you’re gonna feel alone, lonely, in pain, hurt but just hold on to it for a while because that’s what is good for you and who knows tomorrow might turn out to be the bestest day of your life?
One popular saying that’s always struck me as particularly stupid and harmful is, “People don’t change.” Although everyone has ingrained personality traits, we aren’t held captive by them. Believing that we can’t encourage ourselves to accept our weaknesses. How many people with substance problems claim they aren’t capable of stopping? It’s much easier to continue a harmful behavior when responsibility is placed on an outside force like genetics or an “addictive personality”.
Saying people can’t change is the same as saying people can’t learn.When you learn something new that knowledge fundamentally changes you. Each piece of information adds to your personal database, creating additional resources to draw on when interacting with the outside world. We face the same temptations to engage in negative behavior, but we also build a body of experience that tells us the reward isn’t worth the penalty.
In a sense we’re always changing and always staying the same. When I compare my self of today with my self from a few years ago, I observe that I’m the same but more. I’m the same in how I think and process information but experience has changed the way I interpret everything. Every day adds a new layer of character.
“We should anticipate aging with optimism rather than dread. As we grow old the beauty steals inward (Emerson).”
The saying “people don’t change” is harmful because it denies the possibility of redemption. There is something profound about the redeemed. The man who’s experienced the lowest rung of existence and conquered his personal demons has an empathy that’s lacking in more saintly people. In a society supposedly built on the doctrine of forgiveness, it’s remarkable how eager we are to label people as permanent degenerates. Circumstances and hardship leads many good people to do foolish things. To say those mistakes are irredeemable is hypocritical. If the world considered only your most depraved moments, how would you be judged?
People do change. We make every decision for the first time with no obligation to the past. If we control anything, we control our own thoughts and behavior. If can improve anything, it should be ourselves.